Settling down late is better than settling down with the wrong person. Here are some of the main reasons patience may just lead you to genuine happiness.
Being unmarried in your late twenties, thirties or forties (honestly, any age past 25) is difficult in modern society no matter how independent you think you are. The pressure is on to get hitched and everyone is hell-bent on reminding you that your biological clock is ticking and it’s time to “settle down”. Women all over the world face this pressure daily from friends and family members who may be simply concerned about their well-being but are expressing that concern in all the wrong ways. Isn’t it pure insanity that we preach against peer pressure to children, yet peer pressure happens blatantly amongst adults? It’s really sad that people feel the need to tell women and men, when to get married and who to settle for. Love should not be dictated by a set timeline because of societal pressure and views.
In preparation for this article, I decided to interview various people who are married and have very different stories in terms of why they decided to settle down and tie the knot. I also asked if the marriage resulted in what we all search for…happiness. It was very hard for me to stomach the responses I heard.
It seems that most people are puppets to the expectations of friends, family and society at large. One man said that he met the woman of his dreams when he was 27 and because she was not liked by everyone in his immediate circle of friends, he felt pressured to end the relationship. He is now married at age 34 to a woman his circle calls a “good match” and trust me when I say, I hope his wife never hears him talk about his “dream girl” because it is evident that he has regrets for not following his heart. Marriage can help you grow or break you – that is a huge fact and it can be seen everywhere.
Another instance, was a young woman named Shelly-Ann that lit the room from the time she walked in. She spoke about her marriage with pure passion and told me that she met her husband during university. They dated for four years before they got engaged, worked and saved money towards their wedding and house then got married three years after the engagement. Her parents were livid because they wanted her with someone more financially stable and often told her to look for another man that would make her life “easier”. Shelly-Ann smiled as she told me that waiting and working together with her partner allowed her to be certain if she could spend a lifetime with him. She wasn’t busy harping on her age and the “ticking time bomb of children”. The couple is now married with a beautiful daughter and even something a lot of married people do not have – peace of mind.
Take the time to discover who you are, your likes/dislikes, what values you hold deeply, what you want from yourself and out of life before you settle with the next random person that winks your way. Do not get comfortable for just “okay” when an amazing, secure, healthy relationship may be around the corner. Sharing a life with someone is not the same as having a roommate, so don’t treat it as such.
I know it’s frustrating to put faith in the unknown but I am beyond certain it is worth the wait to meet your better half and enjoy a life filled with marital bliss, contentment and supreme well-being through both the bad times and the good. A strong union will last through all the constant twists and turns life has to offer. Focus on building yourself for your personal growth and the right partner instead of settling for the wrong person.