LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS:
Before getting ready to lose your virginity, think about what you’re expecting it to be like. Chances are, pop culture and movie depictions are getting in the way – and making you think it’s going to be this perfect, sexy time for all, when really, it’s probably just going to be uncomfortable and awkward. Clearing your head of these expectations will help you to have a better first-time experience, and understand that you’ll come to figure out what “good” sex is over time, and with practice and patience.
But, one thing to not compromise on is your expectations of your partner. You should insist on enjoying this moment with someone who is caring, and of course, consensual. And definitely make sure that you’re emotionally ready before you get into things – you should never feel peer pressured by friends, society or especially your partner.
TAKE IT SLOW:
This is definitely the most important thing when having sex for the first time. It’s so important not to rush into things, and make sure to indicate this to your partner. Be patient with each other, communicate during and learn what feels right for your body. The best way to feel no pain is to go into it feeling relaxed – which will happen if you don’t feel like you’re rushing into it.
If you’re feeling slightly nervous or stiff, it can make the experience more painful or harder, so ensure you’re ready for the moment and with the person you’re doing it with. Most of all, remember that you can stop at any point – and never think that you have to suck it up or just go with it because you started. Sex should be enjoyable for all.
TRY AGAIN LATER:
First time sex is not going to be magical. Contrary to what you’ve seen in movies, you’ll likely not walk out feeling like you’re floating on a cloud. In fact, it’s confusing, scary and probably not-so-enjoyable. But it won’t always be. Don’t let a bad first experience impact your sexual future. Take the time to talk about it with your partner, discuss what you liked and didn’t like, and share how you can make it better for each other.
If you find that your first time was painful, don’t feel scared, you’re not alone. Don’t let a bad experience stop you from trying again. When it comes to sex, practice always makes perfect.
GO IN YOUR OWN TIMING:
Sex, and especially first-time sex, is a really beautiful and intimate thing – and rushing into it, or even rushing it, will make the experience less enjoyable for you and your partner. Don’t feel like you have to cross this off because your friends are doing it. In fact, don’t even let that be something you consider. This is a monumental experience for you – and don’t let anyone else have a hand to play in that, not even your significant other.
If you’re feeling pressured to have sex, then it’s time to ditch your partner and find someone who is more considerate of you, your feelings and your desires. Remember, there’s more to sex than just intercourse, and you can have fun exploring all the different ways you can express your sexual feelings and health, without rushing into anything you might not be ready for.