YOU COMPARE EVERYONE TO YOUR EX:
Whether it’s that no one can live up to how amazing he was, or he’s the exact type of guy and qualities you want to avoid, comparing every little detail of new partners (or potential partners) is a tell-tale sign that you’re just not quite over your ex.
We’re not saying this means you’re still in love with them – in fact, it could just be anger or resentment left at this point – but it still means that you’re not quite over them as yet, which is fine. This takes time, but getting into a new relationship when your ex is on your mind isn’t fair to you or your new boo. Take the time to ensure you’re fully healed from your last breakup, and that you’re ready to tackle a new relationship for what it is: new. Even if there are similarities in the two, this is a completely different situation from your past, and should be treated that way.
YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO BE DATING SOMEONE:
Especially for those who have been in relationships seemingly all their life, it can be absolutely weird to suddenly be single. Perhaps all of your best friends are in serious relationships, and you’re just feeling a little out of place amongst all of the group dates and couples nights. Or maybe your ex has moved on already and you feel like you should have too.
But here’s the truth: if finding a partner feels like it’s your number one priority, then you’re simply not ready to date again. Besides this being completely unhealthy (I mean, you’ll probably end up in a below-average relationship because you were quick to settle just for the title), it also can read as desperate, meaning that people are less attracted to you. Pack the hunting mentality away and just be yourself, and be okay with being by and with yourself for now.
YOU’VE LOST YOURSELF:
Listen, it’s totally normal to somewhat morph into your partner when you’re in a relationship – especially if it’s an extended one. But after a sudden breakup, you might be left feeling kind of lost. Like the-who am I and what did you do with the regular me-kind of lost.
There’s a saying: the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. And you need to keep telling yourself this. Instead of jumping into a new relationship, remember what things you like to do for yourself, spend some time reflecting on your life, or even incorporate some self-care strategies into your routine. The only way to truly enter a fulfilling and loving relationship is knowing that you love yourself first and foremost.
YOU’RE STILL HEARTBROKEN:
Repeat after us: this. is. totally. okay. In fact, this is NORMAL!
Going through a breakup at any age, or at any time, is never ideal and certainly never easy. And it’s absolutely normal to feel sad or heartbroken after ending it with someone you cared a lot about. And if it ended badly, there’s even more negative feelings to process. While you’d love to be able to jump right into a new relationship and back on the train, or at least feel like you’re on the train tracks, there is no rush.
Whether you’re 18 or 80, you have no timeline you need to fit into – and this little breakup will not derail your life plans. So go on, cry. Call your friends. Watch a movie. Go out to some more fetes. Hell, have a rebound or two. But don’t rush into something you’re not ready for.